The SEXth Floor - Series 1

They used to call the sixth floor of Cityland 9 as "the SEXth Floor" way back in the years 2000 to 2001. And it was right on the dot to have such a moniker.

I used to live there during those years, back when condominium residents would have this air of pride in saying "I live in a condo unit" when asked where they go home at night. There seems to be this sense of being in the upper crust if you get to say you're a condo-dweller as opposed to saying you rent a bed along some grungy neighborhood like Baranggay San Isidro. I just couldn't make myself say back then that "I live in condo" with that tone. Why should I? The unit I was renting then was no bigger than the walk-in closet of our maid in the old house I grew up in. My unit was literally a birdcage. The only satisfaction I did get from living in such a death trap was that mine faces the skyline of the business district of Makati. Were it not for the panoramic view I had, I would have hung myself from the doorway out of depression and claustrophobia.

Aside from that view, I had another extra. And that came in the form of the sixth floor being a SEXth Floor.

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There was John. An American volunteer for the Peace Corps - 24 years of age, blonde, blue-eyed and speaks flawless Tagalog with a Batangueno accent. He lives in unit 6_6, a one-bedroom affair. He has quite a charming and disarming look about him that coupled with some few lines of Tagalog can easily melt any local's knees.

"Unit 6_6," said the tall guy in brown shorts and a cap pulled down low over his head at the security guard behind the lobby's desk as he gave the latter his i.d. and signed in the visitor's logbook.

"Ah dun kay Ser John," said the guard and gave the guy a mischievous smile. When the elevator sounded its familiar bell and the doors opened, the tall guy went in and disappeared into the lift to head straight for unit 6_6.

"Bilib din ako sa kapitbahay ninyo ser. Ikaapat na ngayon gabi yang umakyat sa kanya. Talo pa niya yung mga japayuki sa kabilang side ng floor nyo," the guard told me with his smile still plastered on his face.

"Anong ibig nyo sabihin Manong," I asked the guard while still holding the cigarette i was smoking by the window of the lobby.

"Naku, brod. Malilibog mga tao sa floor nyo. Alam lahat yan ng Roving dito. Tawag nga namin eh SEXth Floor. Pinakamatindi yung Kanong si John. Minsan nga eh nakabukas yung pinto niya. Nagroronda ako nun at kita ko na may kinakantot siya sa sahig. Laking titi po ser," by now Manong Guard was already saying these in a hushed tone.

"Ganun ba?" I replied

"Yung ka-relyebo ko nga ser eh natikman na yang si John," he added. "Hindi nga ser makalakad ng maayos at nag-absent. Pero, sabi niya, sarap daw kumantot nung Kano kahit ubod nang laki."