WHAT AM I?

"Hey pare. May tanong ako sa iyo," I told B over the phone after he narrated to me one of his trysts.

"Shoot tol," he said.

"We've known each other for the past 12 years, right?"

"Yeah."

"And it seems, as we grow older, we've both been getting our lovers... well, younger and younger."

"Ang tawag dyan tol eh pampalapot ng dugo. Hahahaha..." B chuckled at the other end of the line.

"Tangna naman chong. Between you and me, mas malabnaw ang dugo mo no. Singkwenta-tres ka na, at ako eh kwarenta'y dos pa lang," I said in a defensive tone.

"Hahahaha... pare... huwag mo ring kalimutan. Bebot ang trip ko. Eh ikaw... kelot. Dehins ako nakikipag-espadahan. Hahahaha..."

"God man. Even your words... Dated! Hahahaha..."

"So ano tanong mo?" B asked.

"Okay, here's the question. If older women who go for younger guys are called COUGARS, ano naman ang maitatawag mo sa mga older guys going for younger lovers?" I asked.

"Hmmm... pucha tol. Ayaw ko man aminin pero, sa edad ko and my last girlfriend's 17... I guess, I can be called a D.O.M." B said.

"Hahahahahahaha!!! Pucha chong!! Dapat may collection ka na ng leather clutch bags at mga Saudi gold! Hahahahaha..." I laughed so heartily I could feel my snot dripping from my nose.

"Bumabawi ka ah..." B said. "Eh ano naman tawag sa iyo na kumakana ng mga beinte-uno anyos na mga bagets?"

"Ewan ko. Ano ba?" I wondered.

A looong pause.

"Alam ko na!" B exclaimed.

"Ano?" I asked.

"Babagay sa iyo. Hehehehe..." B said.

"ANOoooh ngah?!? Pinapa-suspense mo pa eh," I asked growing impatient.

"HYENA! Hahahahahaha...."

-----------

Am I really that?

Maybe.

Fuck....

IMPLEMENTS FOR THE POWER BOTTOM

I have met and played around with a few "power bottoms" in the past whose sexual appetites are insatiable and sometimes bordering on the macabre.

There was this guy, a physicist, who wanted me to insert both my hands up his ass and clap. He says he can fit in a whole 1.5 Coke bottle if he's properly prepared. I didn't doubt him. There was another who, at 26 years of age, has the face of a truly adorable cherub. He teaches kindergarten and draws for kids. But in bed, he likes my toes inserted up his rear end and lets me swirl it around. He says it's ticklish and fun.

But I wonder... is there any power bottom out there who uses power tools... like putting a dildo on the tip of say, a jackhammer? I figure some horny, kinky bottom guy out there has ever thought of doing something like what the couple has done below in this news report.

------------------------

Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter

By Matthew Stabley

NBCWashington.com

updated 10:26 a.m. ET March 16, 2009

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. -- Some sexual experimentation landed a southern Maryland woman in a hospital with injuries tough to imagine and even more difficult to forget.

Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George's County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.

Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said.

---------------------

The crazy, crazy things some people do to their rocks off.

WHAT IF...

... on a Sunday morning you find yourself in barong, staring in front of a mirror about to leave for church because you'll be godfather to the child of your ex-lover?

... you are still reeling from last night's experience when he came to your place to visit you - the future godfather of his first born - and you made wild frantic love with him on your wooden floor?

... you still hear in your head the words he uttered last night while you're still inside him, both of you panting, sweating and in rapture, the words "I still love you more than I love my wife"?

... you woke up this morning to the sound of your mobile ringing and on the other end was his wife profusely thanking you for the gift you gave for the christening and that she's glad she has you as her husband's friend, always there, always at hand and always trustworthy?

... in about an hour you'll be holding his firstborn as the priest will bathe the child's head with the water ushering him to the world of the believing, and you still remember your lover's wife telling you "You are my child's second father"?

... today, you debate within you if you're going to send a message to both their phones and say, "I am sorry, I am sick. I can't come"?


Damn this world! Damn this fucking barong!

MR. POLITICIAN

Last week I got a surprise call from a politician who's running for a government position in the next national elections. He's the youngest, most handsome politician I have ever come across and luck of luck, I'm working on a project for him. It's something that, well, allows me to sit close to him and, I pray to the high heavens na hindi mahalata na naglalaway ako sa kaguwapuhan niya.

Sigh...

I was chatting with a close friend of mine online and here's what we talked about.

_______

ME (1/19/2009 9:52:22 AM): ang guwapo niya
S (1/19/2009 9:52:36 AM): oo na

ME (1/19/2009 9:53:22 AM): pinipigilan ko sarili ko nung magkaharap kami. kaya siguro ako tawa nang tawa.
S (1/19/2009 9:53:35 AM): kilig na kilig ka kamo

ME (1/19/2009 9:53:36 AM): at may kabalbalan pa akong ginawa. well, more like di ko talaga mapigilan
S (1/19/2009 9:53:44 AM): ano?

ME (1/19/2009 9:54:11 AM): paano, tinanong ako kung kagagaling ko lang ng gym.
kasi, the whole time eh namumula ako. flushed daw cheeks ko. sabi ko lang "oo, at superheavy sets ako sa workout".

ME (1/19/2009 9:55:21 AM): i guess the whole time eh nagba-blush ako. lalo na nung he had to bend over para ipakita sa aking yung ginawa nung naunang designer at amoy na amoy ko yung pabango niya. dioskooooHhhh, guso ko siyang sunggaban at halikan!
S (1/19/2009 9:57:50 AM): eeeewwww

ME (1/19/2009 9:58:19 AM): naku... i swear. kapag naamoy mo batok niya.... manaka-nakang talunin mo rin at halikan.
S (1/19/2009 10:00:18 AM): hindi yun
S (1/19/2009 10:00:32 AM): ewww yung thinking na ang laki laki mong tao, may susunggaban kang lalake!!!
ME(1/19/2009 10:00:33 AM): eh ano?
ME (1/19/2009 10:00:39 AM): hahahahahahahaha.....

S (1/19/2009 10:00:46 AM): di ko ma-imagine
ME(1/19/2009 10:00:48 AM): oo nga eh

S (1/19/2009 10:00:59 AM): actually, na-imagine ko pala!
S (1/19/2009 10:01:02 AM): so erase erase!!!!
ME (1/19/2009 10:01:06 AM): HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
(1/19/2009 10:02:01 AM): tapos heto pa. lalo syang sexy ngayon
(1/19/2009 10:02:12 AM): naka-t-shirt lang siya at jeans
(1/19/2009 10:02:26 AM): at... ahem... bakat na bakat ang "perlas ng silangan".
(1/19/2009 10:02:58 AM): in this case, since muslim siya, ang kanyang "kris" eh nakasukbit at bakat sa pantalon
(1/19/2009 10:03:20 AM): umiikot at utak ko sa mga naiisip ko habang nag-uusap kami

S (1/19/2009 10:05:53 AM): anobayan...
S (1/19/2009 10:06:09 AM): may nagawa ka bang imagine na work while you were talking?

ME(1/19/2009 10:06:10 AM): HAAAAY
S (1/19/2009 10:06:11 AM): parang wala eh

ME (1/19/2009 10:06:27 AM): hahaha... meron naman. heto't tinatapos ko. and the whole time i am staring at his picture

S (1/19/2009 10:06:51 AM): sana di ka naglaway at nagpunas ng laway habang kausap sha noh
ME (1/19/2009 10:07:19 AM): several times na parang gusto kong dilaan yung batok niya eh

S (1/19/2009 10:07:38 AM): EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW... anobah?!?!
ME (1/19/2009 10:21:10 AM): haaay

THE DYING SWAN-ETTE

I wonder how many a gay man has dreamt of doing the Dying Swan in Swan Lake.



This has got to be the funniest pas de deux I've watched.

A BATH HOUSE, BRAZILIANS AND ME

J asked me to blog about my interesting Monday night at Club Bath (CB). I chose to copy-paste our conversation here instead. I hope J doesn't mind.

----------

Clear Chat History
2:44pm ME
btw... was at cb yesterday.
este last night
2:44pm J
i usually go mondays din, but i had an early 8am meeting today
so i didn't go. how was the crowd last night?
2:45pm ME
merong braziliano. 2 sila
2:46pm J
PUNYETA! tanginang meeting yan o! hahahaha
(actually, i'm still in my sticky rice queen stage, so i guess ok lang)
2:46pm ME
medyo nakakagulat dahil pamilyar yung isa who does these ramp modelling at madalas sa serendra
2:46pm J
bagay sa iyo yun, sana you hooked up with them, malaki ka for them
marami silang brazilian models ngayon nandidito
2:47pm ME
i know. i did hook up with both
2:47pm J
ANG HABA NG HAIR! hahahaha
2:48pm ME
here's the funny part. (i don't know. siguro tumatanda na rin ako)
the two of them ended up going to my place. we spent the whole time last night drinking and me drawing them
2:50pm ME
oh... before we left... the taller one kinda got pissed off with one short guy dun sa cb na super kinulit yata siya.
2:50pm J
wait, di ba magkasama sila? o they went there seperately?
*separately
2:51pm ME
magkasama sila.
2:51pm J
ah ok. anyway, go on
2:52pm ME
i was observing them the whole time dun sa ibaba. remember where we were sat last time? i was sitting there the whole time. tapos paikot-ikot lang sila.
2:53pm J
ah yung sa may gym
2:53pm ME
korek
yung taller guy - umupo dun sa katabi kong silya. trying to avoid the short, pudgy guy na halatang kulang na lang eh dambahin siya. lol
2:55pm ME
i overheard the short pudgy guy na trying to strike a conversation kay tall guy. eh tinding baluktot ang inggles. sumagot si braziliano, mas baluktot ang inggles. failure to communicate sila. lol
2:56pm J
TEKA?! akala ko magkasama sila, tapos pareho pa silang braziliano
2:56pm ME
since di mag-connect verbally yung si short pudgy pinoy with braziliano
2:56pm J
ay wait! sorry!
got it. the shorter one is pinoy
ah okaaaay... ;-)
2:58pm ME
2 silang braziliano. si tall guy - (i found out na antonio name) at yung kasama nya na ramp model (who incidentally speaks flawless english) eh si Kike. yung tinutukoy ko na short guy eh some pinoy trying to hook up with antonio - the taller brazilian
2:58pm J
kike?! HAHAHAHAHA
2:59pm ME
yeah. short for Enrique. i guess, wala pa ring nagsasabi kay Kike na ang baho ng palayaw niya dito
2:59pm ME
so you ended up drawing them... shet!
kakainggit ka!
haba ng hair mo!
at hindi ka pa nag-share! hahahaha
2:59pm ME
it wasn't really intended na maiuwi ko sila pareho dito
3:00pm J
so sino sa kanila ang bottomesa?
3:01pm ME
ganito yan... to summarize everything. i was watching the two of them the whole time in cb. the only time na naka-interact ko sila while inside CB was when the short pinoy guy was trying so hard to get antonio's number. dehins mainitindihan ni antonio inggles ni pinoy, sumabat na ako at nag-translate para kay pinoy. in the end, antonio and i exchanged some short pleasantires.
3:03pm ME
nung umuwi na ako. kumain muna ako sa chowling at dumating din yung si kike at antonio dun. smile-smile and they joined me at my table (unusually occupied lahat ng mesa kagabi sa chowking) hayun, dun ko na sila naka-kwentuhan
oh, antonio and kike... they're lovers. antonio's the bottom guy.
there... to answer your question
3:04pm J
ahhhhhhh
pero drawing lang?
hindi kayo nag-threeway?
c'mooooooon... ;-)
3:05pm ME
lol, okay i lied. we had a threesome
but it wasn;t really that mind-blowing.
3:05pm J
hahaha
c'mon, DRAWING daw o?!
ULUL! hahahahahaha
ok lang kung hindi mindblowing
3:06pm ME
the real mind-blowing part was they still fucked each other raw and i kept on drawing them the whole time
3:06pm J
i suppose that's exciting for them
someone watching them
3:06pm ME
i suppose so. it was definitely exciting for me. it was actually quite beautiful
3:07pm J
kung dalawang chinoy yun, SHET! I'll be precumming now at just the inggit! hahahaha
3:11pm ME
paano ko ba i-explain. hmmm... they were lovers. i guess they were looking for a third party sa cb. and when they doing it in front of me and i was there drawing them the whole time, i was watching a very private and intimate act. for them, i think ha.... kaya matindi yung sex nila, they weren't just "performing" for a third party, it was also some sort of acknowledgment for them that they "exist as a real couple for somebody else." bakit ko nasabi? kasi nung nasa chowking kami, wala akong ka-ide-idea na mag-jowa sila dahil sa body language nila. they were acting out as best friends in public. nung nasa sex act na sila in front of me.... ibang-iba ang vibes na nila. they were making love.
sorry, ang haba nang isinulat ko
3:12pm J
ahhhh
3:12pm ME
so there. that's my extremely interesting monday night
3:12pm J
feeling ko hindi sila out sa mga fellow brazilians nila ditto or something like that
3:12pm ME
i don't think that they are out
3:12pm J
or they need to act "best friends" in public for their career's sake
3:12pm ME
yes, i believe so. and kike is the more intelligent one. he, apparently, is the one who steers everything.
3:14pm ME
well, in any case, PANALO ka!
i-blog mo na yan!
hahaha
wait, have to go na
may meeting na kami :-)
3:15pm ME
iniisip ko pa nga eh. binubuo ko pa sa utak ko para ka Peter. (hindi ko mai-blog sa legit site ko. syet.)
okay
bye
3:15pm J
bye! :-)

SAD PETER

Sad day today.

I was surfing through the net today and I found photos of the guy I was involved with. And these photos were pretty "revealing" - much too revealing.

Well, I figure he's got a lot of hits for his "hot" photos.

Sigh... the things one discovers online.