"Hey pare. May tanong ako sa iyo," I told B over the phone after he narrated to me one of his trysts.
"Shoot tol," he said.
"We've known each other for the past 12 years, right?"
"Yeah."
"And it seems, as we grow older, we've both been getting our lovers... well, younger and younger."
"Ang tawag dyan tol eh pampalapot ng dugo. Hahahaha..." B chuckled at the other end of the line.
"Tangna naman chong. Between you and me, mas malabnaw ang dugo mo no. Singkwenta-tres ka na, at ako eh kwarenta'y dos pa lang," I said in a defensive tone.
"Hahahaha... pare... huwag mo ring kalimutan. Bebot ang trip ko. Eh ikaw... kelot. Dehins ako nakikipag-espadahan. Hahahaha..."
"God man. Even your words... Dated! Hahahaha..."
"So ano tanong mo?" B asked.
"Okay, here's the question. If older women who go for younger guys are called COUGARS, ano naman ang maitatawag mo sa mga older guys going for younger lovers?" I asked.
"Hmmm... pucha tol. Ayaw ko man aminin pero, sa edad ko and my last girlfriend's 17... I guess, I can be called a D.O.M." B said.
"Hahahahahahaha!!! Pucha chong!! Dapat may collection ka na ng leather clutch bags at mga Saudi gold! Hahahahaha..." I laughed so heartily I could feel my snot dripping from my nose.
"Bumabawi ka ah..." B said. "Eh ano naman tawag sa iyo na kumakana ng mga beinte-uno anyos na mga bagets?"
"Ewan ko. Ano ba?" I wondered.
A looong pause.
"Alam ko na!" B exclaimed.
"Ano?" I asked.
"Babagay sa iyo. Hehehehe..." B said.
"ANOoooh ngah?!? Pinapa-suspense mo pa eh," I asked growing impatient.
"HYENA! Hahahahahaha...."
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Am I really that?
Maybe.
Fuck....
